7.15.2012

The Sniper

With an arrogant display of humility
   he claims none of the credit
   for the work he has done
giving it all to fate
to the gun
but he loves to pull the trigger.
Evident in the way he cannot refrain.
He plants his feet
as if he belonged
and the adrenaline swells
the I-AM-GOD rush rises passionately, angrily, demanding blood and pouring red hot through the cracks in his careful facade
   jaw clenched - teeth worn to grittle -
   but his hands still do not shake.
He takes his time.
With precision and almost motherly care
he flicks the safety to off.
In a moment of eerie silence
gravity is suspended
and he is alive
for he lives to pull the trigger
although it means someone must die.
It isn't personal.
  just a spray, a spattering of life on the sidewalk.
He relishes the moment of freedom
   but it is just as much a chain.

Explained here

19 comments:

  1. There are some wonderful lines ('teeth worn to grittle') and ideas (the motherly care of the shot)..in this piece..your back story link really added to the picture..just who is the sniper...I would imagine you remember the shot whichever side you're firing from..maybe the measure of good and bad comes in how you remember it? great write..Jae

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  2. Phew...you and Mary both used the idea of a gun in your wordles and, each was very effective. This is very dark and powerful. I can well imagine him as being cold and calculating the time to take the best shot.
    Wow.

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  3. You certainly have written a powerful piece and your backstory raises a lot of questions. Well done!

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  4. chilling piece...hope you are not speaking from personal knowledge! powerful words....

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    1. I echo what Joanne says: chilling piece. But engaging and impossible to forget!

      Gardener Grittle

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  5. The lack of motive is what makes this poem chilling. Cleverly done.

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  6. Dark and well wordled indeed!! Those words were meant for this!! :)

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  7. Feeling as though I just watched one of those incredibly frightening movies that I usually avoid. Well done!

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  8. This is gritty. That is one hard man. "the I-Am-God rush rises." that's legit.

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  9. "a spattering of life on the sidewalk..." Terrific images. I agree with comments above: chilling, gritty, dark. Great use of the Wordle. Well done.

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  10. A chilling tale. Well wordled.

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  11. Powerful, well done. Your writing gripped me.

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  12. Trigger has many meanings and you used it well as part of a machine. Though your gent gives the gun life by giving 'it' the credit for the shot and not himself (his brain also being a very well tuned machine!)

    Thanks for your visit. Most of my story verses have been created with wordles from the Sunday Whirl - though there are exceptions. The piece you read was just one inserted in this series...for when you have a few moments to spare:
    http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/p/story-verse-b.html

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  13. You made these words work hard for you. Strong write, raising a lot of questions,

    Elizabeth

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  14. I echo the others this is chilling. Well done. Thanks for visiting me and commenting on my piece.

    Pamela

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  15. Chilling, powerful, what lots of others already said, but I also found it very disturbing. Good poetry should make a person think (imo), so I say well done.

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  16. WOW! Impressive use of the words. I have always hated guns. "I-AM-GOD rush rises passionately" is a haunting, vivid line.

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